Satire: Tomlin trades the Steelers sideline for Mars—bringing Elon Musk, two legendary ship names, and a livestream crew that somehow includes The View.
Super Life Club News (Satire): “Ben Johnson Quits Mid-Playoffs to Run for President—Declares Chicago ‘Fixed’ in One Half”
Cold Open: Super Life Club News Desk ANCHOR (dead serious):Good evening. In a move that political experts are calling “absolutely on brand for 2026,” Chicago Bears head coach Ben Johnson has reportedly quit his job immediately after beating the Green Bay Packers in his first playoff game—and is now “strongly considering” a run for President […]
